ICYMI

What I think I’m doing here: Some more short fiction (in the form of a single long sentence).

In case you missed it, just in case you happened to miss my last missive, I am reaching out, following up, I am inquiring to see what the status might be of my message, the one I sent you, the one I am afraid you might have missed in the Sturm und Drang of your inbox, in the welter of other correspondence, all important, I’m sure, all essential, of course, but including my own, my own carefully crafted communication, my metaphorical message in a bottle, my attempt to connect, the connection that I fear has been missed in the confusion of your busy and meaningful life, although my concern is, my anxiety is, that perhaps this earlier email was not simply missed but seen and forgotten, read and ignored, delivered to the trash bin with no response necessary, perhaps even deleted, blocked and reported as spam, with a sneer, with rolled eyes, with a sigh of frustration, which seems entirely possible, is definitely within the realm of imagination, given the nature of our last interaction, our final conversation, which I did not think was final at the time, but perhaps was, given the lack of response to my previous 137 attempts to contact you via various means, including hiring one of those planes pulling a giant banner, which, I am afraid, you may have missed, perhaps having just spilled your coffee on the way to an important meeting when the Piper PA-18 Super Cub reached cruising altitude, banner streaming in the wind, and sopping up the spill with a handful of paper napkins and cursing, your attention diverted by the spreading stain on your blouse and the importance of your upcoming meeting, you failed to look skyward and note the bright banner pleading “Come Back Monica” circling the city and so did not reply, did not show up on my doorstep, did not call me on my phone, did not send me a letter or an email, or engage the services of a singing telegram company, did not send a DM or IM or MSN Messenger message, and so I suspect that you may have missed it, although if you did see it, please know that I wanted to include “PLEASE” but the pilot was concerned about the increased drag created by this all-caps appeal, the additional linear feet of fabric required, and it also would have cost an extra $350, but I think the “PLEASE” was implied anyway and I suspect its absence was not an issue, more likely you did not see the banner at all, more probably it flew through the clear summer sky unnoticed except by young children who, clutching the hands of their caretakers, pointed and made engine noises, and all this brings me back to the original reason for this message, which was just to check in, in case you missed it, my earlier message.